Stockings are my favorite. The presents get opened and discarded to the side. Wrapping paper and boxes get cleared out. What keeps them talking in the hours to come are the stockings. The silly, funny, yummy contents get is excited, laughing and remind us what it’s like to be a kid again. Here are a few of my favorites:
This cute poop plush is sure to make them laugh! I saw it for the first time watching Tucker Budzyn, and knew I had to get one.
Oh the hilarious faces you can make with this human face fidget. They crack me up!
Slime that helps you clean those hard to reach crevices in your car? Yes please!!
I will never forget the year we got our chicken flingers! We still have them, and you do want a set of 10 or more because they get lost behind furniture.
Clap on. Clap off. Clap on, clap off. The Clapper. You can’t go wrong with this classic! Funcitional and fun! My link is to the generic, but here’s the name brand if you’d prefer it.
This is a new concept to me, and I discovered it listening to this episode of the Ten Percent Happier podcast. What made it compelling to me, was when the guest Devin Berry shared that he felt difficult to be around, angry, and easily offended. He also describes himself as sarcastic and skeptical, and that fact that all of those descriptors sadly resonated with me and how badly I didn’t want them to.
As I listened to him talk through a Metta Practice, I tried it for myself. I did not expect the tears to flow! I released so much emotion as I wished love and kindness to others, but especially as I wished it for myself and also forgave myself. I didn’t know that I needed this. Thank you Devin so much for being vulnerable and sharing your experience with Metta.
It has been a long time since I have felt this big of a shift in energy in such a positive way, and I wanted to share it here for a couple of reasons: 1) to selfishly help me process it, and 2) in case others want to find all of the high points shared in the podcast and this short and condensed form.
Initially I thought I would just listen to the podcast once a week, but I don’t trust myself to dedicate an hour to listen through all that is presented there.
Metta is a Buddhist practice that essentially is a practice of wishing others good will, including yourself. It’s the practice of becoming kind and benevolent. There are many mantras involved which I already believe in and practice. I have been a long time believer in the concept of repeating a positive saying or intention throughout my day. I have a yoga practice, and deep breathing and quieting the mind is a part of that.
I also want to go on the record as saying that you do not have to be Buddhist to practice Metta and wish goodwill toward others. I identify as a Christian, believe and God and Jesus, 100 percent. I strongly believe that you can adopt pieces of other religious practices as your own and that all religions have practices we can use to better ourselves.
This practice of Metta takes meditation a step further with a very specific series of mantras, to open your mind and heart.
Choose some meaningful phrases of what you want to bring into your life. These were suggested:
May I be happy and peaceful (may I have joy and contentment).
May I be safe.
May I be protected.
May I have well-being.
This can be hard to wish for yourself. Dan Harris, the host of the podcast, suggests that you begin with “easy people” – someone you love, and if people are hard choose a pet. This made me laugh, but I also found it relatable. Dan suggests also starting your children or spouse. He really likes to front load with two easy people. “May they be happy and peaceful, may they be safe, may they be protected, may they have well-being.”
Eastern practice starts with yourself, but that is hard for most of us so they are inverting this. Once you’ve done your two easy people, you can move to a mentor. “May they be happy and peaceful, may they be safe, may they be protected, may they have well-being.”
Then someone you see on a regular basis, and neutral person. I am sitting at a coffee shop right now, and I chose the barista that I literally have seen every day this summer. I’m not even sure of her name, but “May they be happy and peaceful, may they be safe, may they be protected, may they have well-being.” This one got to me today, because it opened my eyes to how I neglect to think of people in service as being just like me, having real feelings and hopes and dreams. Teary-eyed as a type this.
From the neutral person you shift to a difficult person. “May they be happy and peaceful, may they be safe, may they be protected, may they have well-being.” Each time a think of a “difficult” person, what I find is that I really care for them and have no issue really wanting these things for them, but what makes it hard is that I don’t feel like they want it in return for me. I feel that they either don’t like me or that I annoy them. It points me back to my own lack of self-worth.
From the difficult person you shift to yourself. The idea being that you are better able to want these things for yourself if you are able to wish them for others, even those who are difficult. “May I be happy and peaceful, may I be safe, may I be protected, may I have well-being.”
I will add that as Dan talks through this part of the podcast which I found so very valuable, but he talked through it so fast that I had to re-listen to this part over and over to get it all in my mind. Roughly around 17 minutes into the podcast.
The sense of seeing yourself as a part of an interconnected web, helps you to be kind and step outside yourself. It helps you stop feeling you need more and more, that you need to collect things.
Think of people in your life who have been generous to you. How can you replicate that? How can you serve and volunteer and contribute to the greater good? Each time you practice this, it will help you let go of your since of self and selfishness.
Again, here is the link to the episode of Ten Percent Happier that I refer to in the blog post, but I also recommend that you subscribe to Dan Harris’s Podcast. They are all so good.
What is the most used app on your device? Most people would more than likely respond their email, or some kind of social media. Mine is hands down the Notes App. Probably because I use it in so many ways. I’d love to share just some of the ways I use Notes and hope you find some new ways to use this albeit basic, but highly functional App.
Gratitude list. I like to write 5 things I’m grateful for each day. And I’d like to thank Oprah. I remember sitting on my couch in high school and hearing her suggest doing this on paper. I don’t always have pen and paper, but I always have my phone on me. I set a reminder to add to my gratitude list each night before I go to bed. Doing it right before bed helps ensure the last thoughts I have before drifting off are good ones.
Things to do at work. I don’t do well with just one overall to do list for the day. One of the best choices I ever made was to make my home and work to do lists separate. And when you make yours, use the clickable bullets function. It’s so satisfying to click each item and watch it drop to the bottom of the list as day goes on. Anything not done on any given day just gets bumped to the next day.
Positive quotes list. I keep two of these – one for daily quotes that I share with my students and one for me personally. This is one of my favorite and most frequently used notes!
Appointments. This is a list of appointments to make, and appointments I’ve already made, with dates for myself and my children. I only recently started this list but it’s so nice to see everything in one place, broken down by month and household member. Organized by month, I look at and update this list for each family member. It’s nice to see the month at a glance, and to be mindful of appointments coming up and those that need to be scheduled. Obviously these go on the calendar, but having them all listed in one location has also really helped me to make sure everyone gets their basic appointments scheduled on the regular.
Keeping me up list. FAVORITE. I started this note at the recommendation of my therapist and I use it almost nightly. This is one to use when you can’t go to sleep and can’t seem to shut your brain off. I am not sure why this works, but typing my concerns and the things that are keeping me up allows me to go right back to sleep. It’s like I’m releasing them onto the note and letting go of them. 100% recommend!
Books. This is a really long list for me! I see books all the time at the bookstore or have friends recommend books to me. I will not remember the title unless I write it down. I keep books my kids want to read on this list too, under their name as a separate category. It’s bulleted so I can click them as we read them. We are a public library family so I will always see if the book is at the library before I buy it. We have tried being Kindle readers but all love that tangible book experience. I need to turn pages!
Packing list. I keep several packing list notes. One for the beach, one for winter travel, and one for camping. After years of reinventing the wheel, I love having these master packing lists to build from. Huge time saver.
Supplements. This is an odd one, but I am huge on taking supplements. Everytime I run out of a supplement or someone recommends one to me, I enter it here. I believe that we can either care for and nourish our bodies now, or we will medicate them for ailments later. Prevent instead of treat!
Grocery list. This one is on-going, and focused on the perimeter of the store (that’s where the healthy foods are). One of my favorite parts of this list is a subcategory I added which is meal ideas. It really helps to think about meal ideas as a whole when you are shopping. I make it bulleted as well, but it doesn’t have to be.
Movies and Shows. This one stays at the top of my Notes, because friends, family members, coworkers and podcast hosts are always recommending shows and movies! I will not remember what they tell me if I don’t write it down! It’s so great to pull up this list when we feel like there is “nothing to watch.”
Things to Cancel. This list has saved our family more money than any decision I’ve made in the past year. I made this list of all of our subscriptions and expenses on paper, then highlighted the ones we could do without or cut back on. It ended up being a list of 11 different things to cancel including: Hulu, one of our cars paid off, lower phone bill (cut by almost $100 a month just by asking), Amazon Prime video, Amazon Freetime, Amazon Music, and I cut out a redundant life insurance policy. If we aren’t using it, it’s getting cut!
Birthday wishlists/Christmas wishlists. I keep these for my husband and each of my kids and they help so much with gathering ideas and making sure to get everyone exactly what their hearts desire. I start my list a couple of months before Christmas or their birthday month.
Bucket lists. These are some of my favorite lists to make! I keep one for summer, spring break, fall break and Christmas break. I keep a lifetime one as well. So fun to check off so make it bulleted.
Things I didn’t know I wanted. You may be familiar with the Instagram reels called “Things I didn’t know I needed off of Amazon.” I created my own personal list of things I didn’t know I wanted and it has been the most fun! It has become one of my favorite lists. When someone asks me for a gift idea for my birthday, Christmas, teacher appreciate or any other gift giving holiday I will often pull something from this list!
Prayers. This is a special note where I put prayers I love to pray over our family, each specific child and family member, over our finances, our health and more. Some I have found and copy/pasted, and others I have just authentically written myself but want them on repeat.
Repairs. I have a list of household and car repairs or maintenance that need to be made. I make it bulleted and clickable, not only for when they are completed, but also to help rank order their importance. I can click and then unclick to bump minor repairs to the bottom of the list.
Passwords. This one is a bit controversial, and some may consider it risky, but I need quick and easy access to many passwords. Not only for myself, but for my children. I keep a list for their school accounts as well as their personal use.
Food and wine. This is a fun one. I keep a list of restaurants to try and wine recommendations. Once I find a food or wine I love, I bump it to the bottom (so make the list clickable) and put a star emoji beside it. It enjoy returning to restaurants and wines I love almost as much as trying new ones.
Triggers. You will find that most of my lists are positive, but this one strangely may be the most beneficial and here’s why. When you know our triggers and are aware of the things that stress you out, you can put things in place to limit those stressor. For example, being late, crowds and traffic are high on my list. I have put things in place to minimize each of them. I’m not late as often because I strive to arrive early. I avoid crowds by going to the store at less crowded times and I take back roads to avoid traffic.
Writing topics. This list is a must for any blogger or writer. Anytime a topic comes to mind, if I feel strongly about a subject, or feel I am an authority on a certain subject, I add it to this list. Even if you aren’t writer, you might consider keeping a journal and having a list of topics for your journal. Journaling is such a beneficial way to get your thoughts and feelings out and to release strong emotions. It can help you process and problem solve in a way that just pondering can’t.
I hope you have found some useful ideas within this list of lists! I would love to know your favorite, or if you have found any great uses for the Notes app that I didn’t mention.
If you would like to learn more Apple Notes tips, this PC Mag article taught me a trick or two.
I was listening to one of my favorite podcast guests, Dr. Daniel Amen. He was telling a story about taking his son to a Sea World type park. This story has impacted how I parent and I want to share it here so that I always remember it, but also that it might help inspire others.
Dr. Amen took his son to the aquatic park where they enjoyed sea lions and dolphins, and his son asked to see the penguin show. Dr. Amen struggled to get his son to listen to pick up or do chores or anything he asked. He noticed however that this penguin was doing literally anything the trainer asked and was fascinated by it. He wondered how the trainer was able to accomplish this, so he went up to her after the show and asked.
The trainer explained that anything the penguin did that she asked, was rewarded by a hug from her and a fish. When he did the wrong thing she completely ignored him. This was such an “aha” moment for Dr. Amen and it was for me too as a parent.
How often do we as parents stop and correct the wrong behavior, issue a consequence for the wrong behavior, or decide it’s a “teachable moment?” There are times and places where this is appropriate, but the penguin trainer is onto something if we want confident and resilient kids, and if we want bonds with them.
Every time we criticize and correct, what happens? They get defensive and we isolate the child. We push them away. And often we take their good behavior for granted. We fail to acknowledge with they do the right thing because it’s expected.
I shared this with my older daughter and told her I am committed to doing a better job with this! I am a middle school teacher and totally embrace and practice positive reinforcement with my classes of 30+ students. Why doesn’t it translate for me with parenting? I am going to have to be intentional about it because old habits die hard, but just like Dr. Amen has pictures and figures of penguins in his office, I now have a penguin as my Google Chrome background to remind me to praise what they are doing right. Catch them being good!
I was led to write this post because I searched for a playlist like the one I created and couldn’t find one. I wanted a playlist that was not just any worship music, but one where each song made my heart soar. A lot of the songs are worship songs that we sing at my search, but some are songs that have been important for me during different trials in my life and gave me hope and comfort. I hope this playlist lifts your spirits like it has mine.
On this playlist:
Make Room by The Church Will Sing. This song reminds me to surrender, let go and let God. Our worship leader wears a baseball cap at times that says “Let Go For Dear Life.” Yes! Instead of holding on for dear life to all our worries and struggles, we should be letting go of them and casting our cares on HIM.
Oceans by Hillsong United. This song has been a go to for me for years. “Spirit, lead me where my trust is without borders…” I heard on a recent podcast that both faith and fear are stories we tell ourselves. If we are going to tell ourselves a story, it might as well be a good one so let us choose faith!
Lion of Judah by Elevation Worship ft. Brandon Lake; Gratitude by Brandon Lake. I was able to attend the Joyce Meyer conference last year and hear Brandon Lake live and in person. I love anything he does now, to be honest. He has a way of delivering encouraging lyrics with his voice that can get me out of any kind of negative headspace.
Rest On Us by Maverick City Music. This is a song we often sing at church, and I like to think that it’s a call for the spirit to come and join us in the space at church, but I also love it when I’m just driving down the road in my car. It reminds me that I’m never alone.
Graves Into Gardens, Runnin’, Oh Come to the Father by Elevation Worship. They had me at “You turn shame into glory.” (Ok, I could just listen to an Elevation Worship playlist, and that could be satisfying all by itself, but I really like a variety of artists and songs on a playlist so while they appear a LOT on this list, I hope you enjoy my attempt at variety.)
What a Beautiful Name by Hillsong United. I remember my mom telling my as a kid, that there was power in the name of Jesus. As I’ve gotten older I do also see the beauty. There has been nothing I’ve faced that he hasn’t helped me to overcome.
Hills and Valleys by Tauren Wells. I remember when my girls were babies couldn’t sleep (and therefore I couldn’t sleep) playing this song and it uplifting me. So it has a special place in my heart.
Overcomer by Mandisa. It isn’t possible for me to hear this song and not see my now 14 year old daughter at age 5 sitting in the back seat and singing it at the top of her lungs. We would sing it together over and over! And sometimes hearing her sing it would bring tears to my eyes because what better mindset could you want for your children?
Do It Again by Elevation Worship. “He made a way, when there was no way…” This one deserves its own spot on the list because over and over God has proven he will never fail me. His love is faithful and I know he will always not only provide, but deliver – exceedingly abundantly.
Victor’s Crown by Darlene Zschech. Underrated, and my favorite song on this entire list. It brings tears to my eyes each time with the truth and hope it brings. I can’t wait to see what you think of it, if you’ve never heard it before. You overcome!
Lord I Need You by Matt Maher. We can get so caught up the business of life and need to be reminded we need HIM every hour, every minute.
That’s it for now! My playlist is always evolving, so I am sure it will only grow over time. Here is the link to it and I hope it encourages you and lifts you up.
(Written two years ago, and found in my Drafts. Not sure why I never posted.)
I had lunch with my 12-year-old daughter today. She wanted to talk about popularity and I think she wanted reassurance that it wasn’t something she needed to chase. We had the best talk.
We talked about what “popular girls” at her school talk about, and it wasn’t anything she was interested in talking about: talking bad about other kids, judging, gossiping, and talking about boys and dating which isn’t even on her radar yet, thank goodness.
One of the things she is finding most upsetting is hate talk. My daughter is friends with a lot of popular girls, and often overhears them agree with each other when bashing someone “yeah, I can’t stand her either,” or “I hate her too,” when she knows good and well the girls agreeing with these things really like the girls they’re referring to. They will look at my daughter as if she better not say anything.
She shared that when she is with her friends who are considered popular, and someone “better” comes along, and they drop her and act like she’s invisible. I wondered what she meant by “better,” but I could identify with everything she was saying because I’ve lived it too as a girl.
Side Note: When I was in school, I had friends who most people would consider to be "popular," and they were smart, kind, and amazing girls with strong moral values! I share this to say that there is nothing wrong with being popular, and I don't want that to be the take away from this post - for it to come across as I a put-down for popularity all together. It is great to be well-known and well-liked. I am all for that definition of popularity - popular leaders can be great role models. My concern for our young people today, is when popularity means sacrificing who you are, and friendships forged from mutual hate and cruelty in order to belong to a popular clique. That type of popularity sadly does exist in our schools and is the type my daughter is subject to. Think Mean Girls.
We also talked about how quality is so much more important than quantity. She mentioned one of her favorite popular friends in particular who seems obsessed with being friends with every girl in the “popular” circle and she can see how this is changing her friend. I could tell it makes her sad because she really likes this girl, but she was also able to articulate that this friend must be insecure on some level to exert so much energy on how she is perceived by others. I told my daughter that it is a much happier and healthier path to have a few friends who accept you for exactly who you are than to have a lot of so-called-friends who require you to give up pieces of yourself to be who you think they want you to be. That must be so exhausting!
As we were leaving the restaurant I left feeling like she got my message that popularity is overrated. I reassured her that she was fine to wait on boy talk, and that she has her whole life ahead of her to think about that. She’s ok to be a kid. She said, “that’s what I thought,” with her sweet smile. I let her know that as long as she is true to who she is and is kind to everyone, that she’ll never be without friends; to make it her goal to have friends in every social circle because she will need to get along with all types of people in the real world.
I am so proud of my girl and the close friends she is choosing. They are great kids, kind, down-to-earth, grounded, true to who they are, and care about how they do in school. I don’t know if they’re popular and don’t really care. I know they love my daughter and she loves them. I am also proud of her for continuing to love all of her friends whether they have a label of “popular” or not.
If you’re planning to see Taylor in concert, it’s a huge event in your life! You want to make it as memorable as possible, and for everything to go as smoothly as it possibly can. Being in a stadium with thousands of other fans can mean being on your feet and also stuck at times, whether that’s waiting in line or at your seat. You want to be as comfortable as you can because you’re there for awhile! Here is our thoughtful list of the items you will want to have on hand at the show, especially if you’re in an outdoor stadium with a rain chance!
Earplugs. It can get really loud at a concert! The screaming of those around you may take it’s toll and may even induce a headache. You can still hear Taylor through these while blocking out unwanted noise nearby.
Travel Blanket/Shawl. We bought this for a flight to Hawaii, but it was perfect for Taylor’s show! It’s extremely lightweight, but just perfect to stay warm when temps drop in the later hours of the show.
Lanyard. This was a great solution for our debit card to keep it handy but also protected at the show.
Hot Hands. I questioned if we would even use these, but it did get cold enough to appreciate them!
Portable charger. This was my favorite thing that we decided to bring. This is a two-pack on Amazon and you can have one for yourself and one for a friend or family member. You can take pics and videos throughout the show without worrying about your phone dying.
Clear bag two-pack. Most stadiums and arenas allow up to a 12x12x6 bag and these are precisely that size. They worked perfectly!
Portable flats. These darling ballet slippers fold and take up very little space in your bag. They are perfect for once you are settled at your seat and want to slip out of your shoes and give your feet a break.
USB short cable two-pack. To use with your portable chargers. These are lightning cables for iphone.
Rain coat/rain poncho two-pack. You can never be too prepared. We used our multiple times. So grateful for these! I also saw those around us come back to wet seats and they were able to sit on their ponchos.
Waterproof phone pouch. This was another extra item that I questioned if I would use. There was about a 20 minute period that it did rain hard enough to use this! I was able to keep taking pics in spite of the rain.
On the way home from school, I asked Madeline what her top 10 favorite things were right now. I fully expected her to take some time to think about it, and tell me later. But she was able to name 10 for me in less than 5 minutes. Here they are in what I remember being the correct order, although I may have shuffled a few from what she actually said.
10. Her friends
9. McDonald’s
8. Watching Dance Moms and YouTube
7. Playing games on her ipad
6. Riding horses (and Girl Scouts ties because Girl Scouts is what lets her ride horses)
5. Animals
4. Soda
3. McFlurry
2. Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream (the rest of our family eats healthy so her list is making me cringe a little!)
Lavender. It is known as the Swiss Army knife of oils, and for good reason. It’s probably best known for sleep and anxiety. But did you know lavender also helps with soothing the skin, and even promotes hair growth?
Lavender is also a main ingredient in so many of our favorite rollers: seasonal roller, face roller and focus roller!
Here are some of my favorite uses:
1. Add to diffuser along with cedarwood to promote a good night’s rest.
2. Add a few drops to coconut oil to make a soothing rub for sunburn or dry skin.
3. Make a mermaid hair spray by combining with cedarwood and rosemary. Eight drops of each these added to an 8 oz spray bottle, then fill rest of the way with water.
4. Add to diffuser along with lemon and peppermint to help support clear breathing when everything is blooming. This is our seasonal blend.
5. Apply it to back of the neck (brain stem) along with vetiver and cedarwood to help with focus.
6. You can benefit just by inhaling lavender directly from the bottle. It will help with anxiety and calm you.
If I was stranded on an island and could bring only one oil, it would be lavender. So grateful for this amazing oil!
Essentially Better Living 