Yesterday, Larry caught me watching Frozen by myself and shook his head at me. But I didn’t turn it on for entertainment. I use it as a dipstick to test my focus, if different combos of EOs are working for me.
I have never been able to watch a movie or listen to a speaker without missing half of what is said. In fact, if I catch half, that’s a good day. It is frustrating and honestly embarrassing to sit around and discuss a film with others and have literally no recollection of the details everyone else seemed to notice. I have shed tears over it, worried what others thought of me because of it, questioned my intelligence over it. It has been rough.
Once I learned attention and focus were the culprits and that I was not stupid (yay!) I have been on a perpetual journey to find coping skills, meds (hated them), and now oils that might make a difference for me.
YESTERDAY. I watched Frozen with the biggest, goofiest grin on my face. It was as if someone took off the blinders and the fog lifted. THIS MUST BE WHAT IT’S LIKE FOR EVERYONE ELSE! I never noticed the horse pushed Anna into the boat, or that Kristoff passes his knapsack to Anna before jumping off the cliff. I never realized that Anna gives Kristoff a ukelele to replace the one that got destroyed earlier in the movie. I noticed everything. Caught every word. Didn’t get distracted once. And I have seen this movie hundreds of times.
The only two differences I can attribute this to are my use of vetiver as part of my focus combo and Mindwise which I started taking as a preventative measure since my mom had Alzheimers and it’s a genetic disease. Needless to say I will stay the course and I am just so freaking excited!
I have never been so open about my personal faults and ailments as I have since starting this oily journey, but I also am excited to share the successes I’ve had and if they help others, then my vulnerability is worth that.