inspiration

Shell Hunting is a Metaphor for Life

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Shell hunting is one of my favorite past-times on this earth. On our last beach vacation, I was hunting for shells each day, and I found myself contemplating why I enjoy it so much. As I was searching, I came to some general conclusions and each of them brought me back to a common theme. I discovered that what I love about shell hunting, I also love about life in general. I have come to realize that so much of the beautiful presence I find in shelling symbolizes truths I know about life as a whole.

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We are all on a hunt. One morning, I was doing my morning beachcombing before sunrise, and I noticed a father and son preparing to go fishing. I had the thought, “We are all hunting for something. I’m looking for shells, they are looking for fish.” We are all full of hope, looking for what life/God/the universe will offer up to us.

Go specific and general. As I continued to observe the father and son, I realized we had something else in common, and another universal truth came to mind. We were looking for very specific things, but also looking at the whole and open to what would come to us in general. As I walked the shore that morning, I was looking for sand dollars because I had found one the day before. But I was also looking in general for things that caught my eye. The father and son where hopeful for a specific type of fish, but also open in general to what they might find. We live for those moments of awe where we find exactly what we are looking for.

The large scale and the fine scale. I heard a quote this morning on Dr. Andrew Huberman’s podcast that sums this idea up beautifully. It comes from Dacher Keltner who studies awe at UC Berkeley. He says, “if we allow ourselves to move from the fine scale to the large scale and back again, it’s the space between the two where we experience awe.” I think of the specificity involved in hunting for particular shells. And then I consider the vastness of staring out at the horizon looking out at the ocean, and realizing how very small we are in the grand scheme of things. Going general keeps me open to whatever special treasure may make an appearance on the walk in front of me or wash onto the shore. It’s going between these processes of the fine scale and large scale that joy and awe are found.

Shells are like snowflakes. Like snowflakes, all shells are different. I may find a dozen white shells, but I was drawn to each one for a different reason. I looked at the shells in my hand and meditated on this idea. One had a pretty tinge of pink on one side, and one had perfect ridges with tan speckles all over. One was perfectly smooth all over and intact, while those around it all had slight imperfections. The imperfect shells were no less beautiful the seemingly perfect one. The chips on one had a blue coloration that it would not have had if the chips weren’t there. I thought about how each one that I held there in my hand had value to me, each for very different reasons. I couldn’t imagine tossing any of them back into the sand.

We are led to what is meant for us. Just as I am drawn to certain shells on the beach, I believe that we are led to what is meant for us. As I walk along the beach, I imagine that the God life in me is feeling as much joy as I am as I see that one beautiful shell that stands out to me among the thousands of others. He is leading me to the treasure that is meant for me and the things in life that I am meant to have. I became so much happier when I realized that I am not after the lives I see other people living. I am only after the unique life God wants for me to have and to do my best to walk in my purpose and what he has for me.

Infinitely many options. The beach is full of shells to choose from, just as we are offered choices on any given moment every day of our lives. We have infinitely many options, and there are many that are right for us. Not right or wrong, but options. We only need to choose the best we can from what we are offered. There is beauty in what we choose, but our intentions matter greatly.

Intentions matter. This may sound silly, but as I stroll down the beach I pray that I will find what shells I am meant to find. I pray that I will find things that surprise and delight me. On this past trip, I prayed to find sand dollars. And I found two! As I go through life, I pray with the same intentionality. I pray that I will find what is meant for me each day. We get what we look for at the beach, or in life in general. That’s worth saying again: we get what we look for. When we look for the good, we find more good.

Rinse and repeat. Finding shells is a bit of luck, a bit of intentionality, and a bit of planning. Once I find an area rich with shells, and especially an area with the type I am looking for (in this case, sand dollars) I will come back to that specific area every day of my trip. Rinse and repeat. I look for landmarks along the way so I know how far to walk out the next day. I also notice if this shifts as the tide shifts. I notice that there are many more shells after storms. The life you want requires the same combination of luck, intentionality and planning. We notice what works and what doesn’t, and we monitor and adjust as things change. There is good to be found after the storms.

I typically write for a specific purpose and audience, but this was just something I wanted to jot down for myself. If others enjoy it, that is just icing on the cake.

relatable

Saying Goodbye to a Car You Love

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The past few weeks I have tried imagining our life without my beloved Santa Fe, and I never imagined I would be this sad about giving up a vehicle.

I asked my family and close friends to help me understand why I was so depressed about giving up this car. I have even cried about it on more than one occasion. Instead of teasing me, they were so sympathetic and empathetic. They helped me see I wasn’t crazy or irrational. It leads me to believe that this may be more common than I had realized, perhaps even universal. There are several reasons for this, I think.

We live our life in our cars. My husband reminded me how many memories we’ve made and how many road trips we’ve been on. Our children have grown up in this car. They were age 4 and 8 when we got it, and we’ve had it for 7 years! I looked back at old photos of our kids and this car, and invoked even more tears.

My favorite memories are the vacations and beach trips we’ve taken. We’ve been to Charleston, Tybee Island, Florida, and Gulfport. We believe in enjoying the journey as much as the destination so seeing that rocket at the Tennessee Alabama state line, going to Bucee’s and grabbing a peach milkshake at Peach Park will long live in our memory banks.

The day to day errands and running the girls to all the things are equally memorable. We’ve been on Girl Scout camping trips, to Space Camp, soccer games, gymnastics, swim team, horse riding lessons, piano, guitar, and all of the other activities the girls have explored. We’ve taken car rides with the girls’ friends with the sunroof open singing Taylor Swift and Morgan Wallen at the top of our lungs. The time spent in our cars with family and friends means so much, but so does the time we drive solo.

We spend so much time by ourselves in our cars. It has been a safe haven and a quiet space for me when life has been hard, but also such a place of joy as I have spent these 7 years exploring exactly who I want to be going forward in life. Going for a drive can be an escape. It can be therapeutic and even healing. I’ve had many a good cry, gotten frustrated with Siri for botching my voice-to-texts, and yelled at many a bad driver – if only they could hear what I’m saying!! Taking a drive by ourselves in the car can also just be downright fun. So much glorious daydreaming and the best music, cranked up loud.

I love all of the bougie features of my Santa Fe. I love my heated seats and steering wheel. I love my power everything, large and numerous cupholders, and I love the third row with the option to fold it down. Above all, I love my pano sunroof the most.

As days passed coming to terms with saying farewell to my beloved car, and I continued to feel sorrowful, I felt the need to write this in order to process all the feelings. I am reminded of the quote that goes “don’t cry because it’s over, be smile because it happened.”

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travel with kids

Why Are You Taking the Same Vacation Every Year?

Do you take the same vacation every year? If you answered yes, we did too, and probably for all of the same reasons we did: we loved going there. We also knew our way around, and knew exactly what to expect. We knew we would have a great time, and it was our happy place.

One beautiful spring day, I was sitting outside a coffee shop, enjoying my latte and working on a blog post. At the table next to me were two girls talking about the summer vacations they were planning. One was like me, planning her same favorite beach vacay, and the other said something I will never forget, and the title of this post, “why are you taking the same vacation every year?”

She went on to explain that she intentionally plans a different trip every year, and that there is a whole world to see. She asked her friend if she thought about exposing herself and her family to different places. She talked about how much fun it is to explore new places and to plan for each trip. She said how meaningful and enriching it was for her children to actually visit the places they had read about in their history books. She had fallen in love with adventure and trying new things. She then shared trip experience after trip experience, at which point she had me convinced.

I went home that day and announced to my family that we should start planning a trip somewhere new and different. I thought I would be met with resistance, but to my surprise they were excited. Since then we haven’t repeated a trip since except for one, where we visited our old faithful beach locale for nostalgia’s sake.

I’m not saying to never visit any place twice. And I also realize to some who already love to travel to new places, that all of this may sound obvious. But where I live, I assure you so many families travel to the same place every year, and I wonder if they will look back and feel they missed out. Will you? In a lifetime that is so fleeting, we want to live in a way that we have no regrets, and that we can feel we have lived it to the fullest.

If you take the same vacation every year, consider branching out and trying somewhere different. Ask yourself what you love about that place, and why it is so important you to go there specifically. For us it was partly for financial reasons. Where we loved going was affordable! But I have been pleasantly surprised to discover places all over the map that we now love just as much that are just as affordable and in some cases they even cost less.

My intention for writing this is not to convince anyone that going on the same vacation is wrong. I hope to go to our old favorite again soon, and wish we had the financial means to do both each year: to go somewhere new and to to our beloved beach town. My hope is that someone who has never considered going somewhere new would have their eyes opened to the possibility that they might love another place as much as their old standby.

After reading this, if you feel as convinced and compelled to go somewhere new as I did that day at the coffee shop, I would love to hear about it. Let me know in the comments where you decide to go.