Author: Essentially Better Living

I am a mother, teacher, blogger and essential oils educator. I'm passionate about pursuing a healthy lifestyle and a closer relationship with God.
Be Wellness-Minded: What You Think About You Bring About!
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Be Wellness-Minded: What You Think About You Bring About!

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All media seems focused on one thing: Coronavirus. Not recommended friends. I am intentionally avoiding social media like the plague (pun intended) and so should you.

We must take it seriously, and we must change our habits because of it. But the WORST thing we could do right now as a collective consciousness and talk and think about this scenario 24/7.

We know that what we think about, we bring about. Right? So then why in the world do we all want to beat the drum of something unwanted and give it more energy?

Instead: Let’s focus on the POLAR OPPOSITE. What do we want? Wellness.

Here are my quick ten wellness mindset practices:

  1. Think and speak thoughts of wellness. Visualize you and your family as well.
  2. Make it your habit to practice supporting your immune system. For specific tips and practices check out my post on immune system boosters.
  3. Stay off social media to the extent possible and avoid CNN and FoxNews. My dad used to refer to the news as “the bad news.” The older I get, the more I see he was right.
  4. Stay calm. We do need to stay home, to flatten the curve. But don’t panic. People get worked up in numbers and blow things out of proportion. This only contributes to the negative energy and attracts the unwanted.
  5. Be proactive. Do things you should do anyway. Wash hands. Avoid shaking hands and other unnecessary physical contact. But not to the extent of anxiety.
  6. Stay positive. The more upbeat you are, the higher you are vibing, the less at-risk you are of attracting unwanted. Focus on positive aspects as much as possible. Make lists if needed.
  7. Self-care. If you don’t take care of yourself you won’t be any good to anyone else. Have a nice cup of tea. Give yourself a facial or mani-pedi. Take a bubble bath. Read a good book.
  8. Meditate. I questioned myself if this should be number one. Why? One of the biggest stumbling blocks for most of us is negative thought. And what is the best way to get off that wagon? No thought. In other words, meditate. Negative thoughts and feelings are such a big component to this whole situation if we are honest. If everyone could take a big deep breath and clear their mind, we could put a brief stop to this collective panic and get a grip. For REAL.
  9. Gratitude. Honestly, when I was watching Oprah Winfrey as a teenager and she gave the advice to keep a gratitude journal, it changed my life. I practice it with my children. I have them tell me five things they are thankful for when we say prayers. I want the best possible thoughts in their minds as they drift off to sleep and their brain goes in to recharge mode.
  10. Prayer. If you believe in a higher power, ask for what it is you want and ask big. Our God is in control and those of us who take rest in Him can rest easy.

 

 

teaching

Dear intimidating parent: (From your child’s teacher)

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I wrote this years ago, but never published it out of fear of repercussions from the parent. But I could have written it and related to it any given school year, to apply to many parents I have encountered over the years. Perhaps it will resonate with other teachers out there. And hugs to you!

Dear intimidating parent:

I want you to know how much I care about your child. I spend a great deal of time thinking how to make his experience better. I want him to engage and learn and I really want him to like me.

You and I have more in common than not. I have children too, and though it has been very rare, I too have not always agreed with the decisions my children’s teachers have made or some of the ways they have run their classrooms.

I want to urge you to believe your children’s teachers. I can assure you that they would not take the time out of their class to correct your child if there was no disruption to learning, and wouldn’t have contacted you unless the behavior they are communicating really took place.

I understand that you want to believe your child, but hopefully you can also see why children would lie and deny – they don’t want to get in trouble! The teacher? She is busy and she wouldn’t take the time to make up some incidents unless they actually occurred.

Your child loves you and respects you. They follow your lead on most matters. If they see, think or feel you don’t like someone, they won’t like them either. If you disrespect his teachers and show disapproval, you embolden him to do the same. Please try to support teachers no matter what, and realize that the more you can do this, the better chance your child has of having a good relationship with his teachers. You do not want to deprive them of the gift of loving their teachers. There is nothing like that bond and please realize it does not in anyway change your bond with them.

Even when you don’t agree with the decision, offer support anyway, with a statement like, ” I’m sure they had a good reason,” or “Maybe they were having an off day.” And if you feel your child was truly in the right, you can advise your child to make choices such as ask for a seating change away from a child who is engaging in talking or acting out that they may be getting blamed for. Problem solve.

Intimidating parents may be the greatest stressor I have personally endured this year. Especially those who intimidate parents and administration. In these situations, when I have exhausted all strategies within the classroom, I need backup from our admin to help tame your unruly child. They too feel intimidated by you and so your child receives warnings if anything, and he is permitted to think rules don’t apply to him. He needs to be held accountable for his actions but they get left unchecked because no one wants to interact with you. This only accelerates the behavior I see in my room. We ramp up from minor disruptions to extreme disruptions, defiance and disrespect.

Here’s what concerns me the most for him: he is finding mutuality with other disrespectful and defiant students. The company he is keeping is among the worst I could imagine for him. This should be of a far, far greater concern to you than any expectation I’ve enforced in my classroom.

I am not placing all the blame here with you. Surely he should take responsibility for his actions and I could have forged a better relationship with him in the beginning. But teachers need to feel they can partner with parents and have a liaison and support in you.

When you copy your harsh email to the principal, threaten to call a meeting with central office leaders, or to sue, you break teacher-parent trust and there is no partnership.

The teacher is left to go it alone. The classroom of students who want to learn are having their education infringed upon on a daily basis while your child thinks up a laundry list of ways to push my buttons and has a huge smile on his face while doing so. Talking back, disrespect, making noises, roaming around the room. Yes, he enjoys it.

He gets it: I can do whatever I want in here and no one can do anything about it.

Congratulations.

For Your Just Add Magic Fan
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For Your Just Add Magic Fan

Essentially Better Living

The words Livonian, Galifrazian and Elysian may not mean much to you, unless someone in your household is a Just Add Magic fan.

Both of my daughters love the show, and the whole family has enjoyed watching the series together but my six year old is what you might call obsessed.

I have been on the lookout for any cookbooks, spices or other merchandise that might delight her. It has taken some searching to find what I was looking for so I thought I would write up a simple post sharing links to the products to help save time for other parents.

First of all, did you know the show was based on a book and that there are actually 2? The book is also titled Just Add Magic and the sequel is Just Add Magic: Potion Power.

More than anything, I wanted to find the cookbook for her. One with the recipes or just a blank one that would let her make her own. I found this one and it is sure to bring joy to your child.

My girls were both interested in the spice families and this wiki provides a well-organized table. They had fun perusing it. We plan to print it out and paste it into the cookbook. We also got this Melissa and Doug spice set.

Chucks’s list of spice families.

Thieves Cleaner: Life Saver
natural lifestyle

Thieves Cleaner: Life Saver

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I can remember before we switched to all the natural things, I had to wear a mask and open all of the windows on cleaning day.

Cleaning day was every Saturday. I would fuss and complain and basically couldn’t breathe the rest of the day.

Flash forward to today and there is no more mask and no need to open windows.

Back then, I didn’t know any different. Everyone used Clorox wipes and Lysol and Windex and so did I. It was just so normal that I didn’t question it.

Then I entered learning communities on natural living and discovered all of the toxins that are in our popular and heavily marketed products. Why wouldn’t they want us to know? Dollar signs, obviously. And when you know better you do better.

I no longer dread cleaning day and would not want to live without this concentrate. It single-handedly replaces all of our commercial toxic stuff and for pennies per diluted spray bottle.

I have written a separate post with more information about Thieves Cleaner if you are interested in knowing more.

Elderberry Syrup: The New Wellness Cabinet Staple
natural lifestyle · Uncategorized

Elderberry Syrup: The New Wellness Cabinet Staple

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During flu and cold season our family has added elderberry syrup to our health and wellness regimen by taking at least a tablespoon each a day, to help support and protect our bodies.

Did you know…Elderberries are rich in vitamins A, B and C and are a traditional cold and flu remedy that has been used for hundreds of years? They are known to have high antioxidant activity and the bioflavonoids and other proteins in the juice of the berry destroy the ability of a cold or flu virus to infect a cell. *mic drop*

Check out some of the other benefits of this amazing, NATURAL elixir:

  • boosts immune system
  • protects the heart
  • anti-inflammatory (in other words, helps with pain)
  • lessens stress
  • helps with back and leg pain (sciatica)
  • helps with chronic fatigue syndrome
  • helps with allergies
  • relieves constipation
  • natural diuretic
  • supports skin
  • can help prevent cancer
  • supports brain health
  • boosts vision health

I add my tablespoon of elderberry to a shot of Ningxia Red, an impressive blend of wolfberry, plum, aronia, cherry, blueberry, and pomegranate juices. Ningxia boasts the same antioxidant activity I just described. Talk about a powerhouse of protection!

Do you have elderberry syrup as a part of your wellness arsenal or any other natural preventatives that you love? If you are interested in elderberry and other immune system boosters check out this post on some lesser known wellness supports.

 

Immune System Boosters You May Not Know About
essential oils · natural lifestyle · Uncategorized

Immune System Boosters You May Not Know About

Essentially Better Living1 Comment

Most folks already know to take Vitamin C, drink plenty of fluids and to get rest when they are sick. You may not be aware of some on this list. While doing some or all of these won’t guarantee you are protected, they significantly lower the risk. If you do find yourself exposed, I think you’ll be impressed how quickly you bounce back.

  1. Elderberry syrup. This one needs to be a staple. Keep it in the fridge all winter long. Give to everyone in the house at the first sign or mention of sickness. It not only boosts the immune system, but it is also an influenza preventative. You can check out a post to learn other elderberry benefits here.
  2. Turmeric. You know, legend has it that the “gold” that was given to the baby Jesus by the three wise men was actually turmeric which is also known as “golden spice.” So in a sense they gave him the gift of health. We Westerners and just catching on to what Indians have known for years and years: natural turmeric has medicinal value. It is anti-inflammatory, anti-viral, anti-cancer and has many many more health benefits. I was curious how to decide which turmeric/curcumin I should take (curcumin is the powerful constituent in turmeric) and what characteristics to look for. I love this post from Dr. Weil whose information I trust. And you can purchase the turmeric I use here.
  3. Raw local honey. Raw local honey boosts the immune system, can help with allergies, and soothes sore throats. It has so many health benefits. Don’t confuse raw local honey with that cute honey bear you get at Walmart. Very little benefit there. I have written an entirely separate post on raw local honey if you want to learn more.
  4. Probiotics. Do you take one? Everyone should take a good probiotic. Life 9 by Young Living is a great one. Why are probiotics so important? Marketing geniuses have programmed many to think all bacteria and germ exposure is bad. We are trained to Lysol and Clorox wipe everything, when in actuality, we are ridding our surfaces of both good and beneficial bacteria and germs. You don’t have to take my word for it. See what the Environmental Working Group has to say here. Same way, when we trustingly take that probiotic, we are killing the good and bad bacteria in your bodies, which is why so often you will see, they sicker some folks get the sicker they get. Antibiotics should only truly be in order when there is a bacterial infection like strep for example, but it has become commonplace unfortunately to give it for ear infections and other sicknesses. When you deplete your body of that good bacteria, you have none to fight off future illness. My advice if you absolutely must take an antibiotic is to take a probiotic daily to replenish that good bacteria supply.
  5. Ningxia Red or a comparable antioxidant drink. When you or anyone in your household is down and out, or if you have been exposed to anyone who is, reach for  all the blueberries, açaí, raspberries, and goji berries you can get your hands on. Or take me at my word when I tell you that Ningxia Red has one of the highest levels of antioxidants you can find. It contains the rare Ningxia wolfberry. For those of you who may not know, Ningxia China has the highest longevity in the world, and it is said to be a result of their consumption of the Ningxia wolfberry, the key ingredient in Ningxia Red. You can purchase the Ningxia Red Starter Kit here.
  6. Thieves Essential Oil Blend. I seriously would not want to live without Thieves. Immune system booster powerhouse. It contains cinnamon bark oil, for one. Here’s a tidbit: viruses can’t exist in the presence of cinnamon bark oil. Thieves contains it. Viruses live in the spine. I apply Thieves to the spines of all my people on the regular. As I am writing this I’m thinking of four ways I used it just this evening alone. Thieves on the throat and spines of my youngest and husband who said their throats hurt “a little bit.” I added it to my girls’ bath salts because tis’ the season. Thieves in the diffuser for the same reason. Thieves in a spoonful of honey, also for my husband to soothe his throat. A great way to get started with Thieves is either the Thieves kit which includes Thieves and the Thieves line of cleaning products, or the Young Living Premium Starter Kit which includes Thieves as well as a high quality diffuser and the other main essential oils you would need to get started. You can find both of those here.

 

Bowling Green – Mom’s Day Out
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Bowling Green – Mom’s Day Out

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If you’re a mama, near Bowling Green, and find yourself with alone time, keep reading!

My oldest daughter is doing a gifted program at the local university each Saturday of the month so I find myself pleasantly and strangely in Bowling Green without children and time to explore.

Whenever I have the opportunity to explore a different city, there are several common things I am always interested to find: a nice park or outdoor area to walk and be in nature, a local coffee shop, and an experience unique to the area.

I read about several local parks in Bowling Green the week leading up to our first visit and the RiverWalk stood out to me, mainly because I have always been charmed by bridges and being near the water. Granted it is winter and no leaves on the trees, but I could imagine this would be a most beautiful place to walk in spring and fall.

I was surprised and mesmerized by the powerful churning of the river water as I stood on the bridge. I must have stood there for a good ten minutes, just thinking no thought and listening to the sound of the water, watching the white foamy water rapidly move downstream.

On my walk I also was able to see one of the longest trains I had ever seen in my life pass by. We have trains near our town, but the length of this one was so impressive to me, and it blew it’s horn the entire time.

I also chose the park hoping to find solitude early on a Saturday morning, and that’s exactly what I found. I only encountered one other person jogging, but felt the rest of my walk that I had the park all to myself.

After my walk I was eager to make way to my next stop, a Himalayan salt cave. Visiting a salt cave was interestingly enough a new bucket list item for me, and I had just learned about them a few months ago. The concept of the cave intrigued me: skin benefits, release of toxins and negative energy, and support for the respiratory system.

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When I arrived I told the lady I had a Groupon. (Look into this – it saved me $16.) She informed me that there was a private session going on and to come back the next hour which I did.

I asked for her help with my search for the best coffee in the area and she mentioned a Starbucks across the street or a local shop. I was quick to let her know I wanted the local shop! She directed me to Q Coffee Emporium which was only three minutes from the salt cave. If you would like to know more about my salt cave experience I shared all about it here in a separate post.

I was delighted as soon as I pulled into Q Coffee Emporium. It had garage doors that looked as if it would be open air in the warmer months, and the entrance and parking was in the back. When I asked about what they were known for, the barista told me they get their coffee from Nashville, and it’s the same coffee they have at Frothy Monkey. Well, I adore Frothy Monkey. So Nashville Frothy Monkey friends, take note. I had a cafe latte and toasted bagel with cream cheese and butter. Both were delish.

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If you’re looking for an enticing atmosphere, Q Coffee Emporium delivers. It’s oozing with charm. There is a cozy area indoors with couches, books, games and natural light. There’s an area that makes an excellent workspace with tables and outlets for charging. There’s an outdoor area with firepit and blankets. This was my personal favorite. There’s also a more traditional looking area that is better suited for dining.

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I also appreciated the bathroom doors labeled “Humans” instead of the traditional “Men” and “Women.”

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I spent the better part of an hour here, and left feeling like I had three different experiences: I ate, sipped coffee, wrote for a bit, and cozied up by the fire. I left there thinking, “If I lived here, I would be a regular.”

 

Himalayan Salt Cave Experience
natural lifestyle · Uncategorized · yoga

Himalayan Salt Cave Experience

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I was so excited to learn that there was a Himalayan salt cave located near the university where my daughter would be attending class in Bowling Green, KY. Interestingly enough, visiting a salt cave was a new bucket list item for me, and I had just learned about them a few months ago.

The concept of the cave intrigued me: skin benefits, release of toxins and negative energy, and support for the respiratory system.

During my research, I had made a list of some of the more specific benefits that Himalayan salt caves have to offer:

  • Clears respiratory and sinus issues, reducing symptoms of allergies and asthma.
  • Builds the immune system. Possible protection from the flu, since salt also has anti-fungal and anti-viral properties.
  • The salt has upwards of 84 minerals that can be absorbed through the skin, so you’re actually nourishing your body as you relax and breathe deeply. It can also help the skin absorb moisture. Can help with acne, eczema and other skin conditions.
  • A salt cave is roughly the equivalent of spending two whole days at the beach.
  • The negative ions in the air may help boost your mood and give you more energy. Some visitors find it helps them with issues such as insomnia, stress, anxiety, depression and seasonal affective disorder.
  • Increases focus.
  • Improves lung capacity and blood flow.
  • Reduces the frequency of migraine and tension headaches.

The “cave” is actually a man-made cave. Believe it or not, it’s located in a strip mall and it is also home to a yoga studio. On their website I read that it’s composed of 6 tons of Himalayan sea salt!

When I arrived I told the lady I had a Groupon. (Look into this – it saved me $16.) I made sure to get there about ten minutes before my start time which worked out perfectly. They had several procedures to explain to me and it allowed time to pay and place any belongings back in my car.

You will be asked to take off your shoes and put on fuzzy socks which are provided. This is to help keep from compromising the integrity of the salt floor. You place the socks in a hamper when you exit. There are cubbies for you to place your shoes or bag if you have one.

You are also discouraged from bringing your phone in the cave since salts and electronics don’t mix. I had one of the employees take a couple of photos for me and then handed my phone over to them.

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One thing that surprised me is that as you enter, the floor is ground salt and feels like sand under your feet. I expected the floor to be solid and hard, so I stumbled a bit when I entered. Once I realized it was soft, I found it very satisfying.

Someone will help you to your chair which is like reclining lounge chair similar to one you might find at the pool. They will cover you with a blanket, and explain that they also turn on a special type of humidifier that releases particles of therapeutic grade Himalayan salt into the air.

There are light panels in the wall and also in the ceiling above you. They supposedly emit a color light that is supposed to help relax you. I find I need to close my eyes to meditate and kept my eyes closed most of the session, so not sure how much I benefited from that. There is music playing that seemed to affect my mood and frequency – in a good way- I am sure it was intentional and part of the experience.

You may be in the cave with people you don’t know, which honestly concerned me a bit. I had intended on meditating while in the cave and I worried that someone might make noises that would distract me. That was not the case at all. Everyone was as silent as church mice and seemed to have the same intention.

The first five minutes I noticed my sinuses completely clear and drainage initially, followed by some of the clearest breathing I’ve had in recent memory. I did struggle with clearing my mind somewhat. My mind would wander, and then clear for about the first half of my time in the cave. Thoughts kept creeping in. The second half of the time, I was presence, clear of thought and felt tingly all over, totally at ease. I also went in with a lot of tension in my neck and shoulders and didn’t have any tension when I left.

I picked up a schedule and was excited to see that they have “kids in the cave” experiences and also yoga in the cave. I have already shared the details with my husband and he is eager to try it himself.

Here is the website for the salt cave I visited where you can find out more information and book your own visit.

Keeping your peace…in traffic
wisdom

Keeping your peace…in traffic

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You wake up in the morning, have a cup of coffee, read, meditate, and get your mind in the perfect calm state. Then it seems within seconds of encountering other humans (traffic), your calm feels threatened. These moments can either derail your peace, or you can be intentional and maintain your peace in spite of these bumps in the road.

Morning commute was the time of day that tried me the most. In the morning, you have places to be, people to see, and time is of the essence. I could come unglued if I got behind a slow driver, afraid they would make me late.

Tailgaters wouldn’t make me late, but they would make me so anxious! I was in a hurry too, but was it really necessary to invade my personal space?

Worst of all was getting caught in stop and go traffic. Driving in large cities and on major highways made my heart race and my hands sweat. In school zones, if the crossing guard was in position, I was at their mercy. I would arrive at work a frazzled mess, and full of blame directed at whoever happened to cross my path and slow me down. Surely they were to blame.

Then one day, I heard a podcast that changed my thinking. It had never occurred to me that it was entirely my fault, EVERY time I’m late. Every time. How was it my fault? Simple. “If you think some other person is making you late, you need to leave your house way, way earlier,” the speaker said. This resonated with me and humbled me. It may sound obvious to some reading this, but that one statement was life changing.

Over time, I’ve trained myself to keep my peace by changing my perspective. These days, I make sure to leave for work pretty early, so I’m never worried about running late and therefore never in a hurry. Now when I get behind a slow driver, I go around them if I can, but if I can’t I choose to see it as an extra time to listen to my podcast or favorite songs.

Now, if there’s an alternate route I can take that has less traffic, I will choose it every time. When I’m in larger cities I always select the “avoid highways” option and take backroads instead of interstates and highways. These routes are longer, but usually save me time and stress.

And that tailgater? I just pull over to the side of the road and let them go ahead of me. It’s a win win. They get to drive faster and I get to keep my peace.

And I’m learning everything in life is like driving. Moments in life can send us into blame and knock us out of our peaceful state. But there is no blame. It’s all on us – we do it to ourselves. By taking responsibility and making simple changes in how we respond to the things that once frustrated us, we can see them all as good. Things are always working out for us.

Takeaways:

  • Leave earlier. Give yourself more than enough time so you’re not in a hurry.
  • Take an alternate route with less traffic.
  • Pull over and let tailgaters pass you.
  • Take responsibility. There is no blame.
  • Enjoy your drive. See it as a peaceful time.
5 Dilemmas Faced by the “Bad Cop” Parent
parenting · Uncategorized

5 Dilemmas Faced by the “Bad Cop” Parent

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Let’s get real. Nobody WANTS to be the bad guy. Everyone wants to be liked, and no parent wants to always be the “bad cop” in the family.

Between my husband and myself, I am definitely more of a bad cop than he is, but my children are fortunate because he will put his foot down and can be the bad cop when necessary. In fact, because he isn’t a bad cop as often, I think at times when he does play the bad cop role, it can make more of an impact on them.

Most days, he’s the good guy (and also a great dad). But sometimes I want to be the fun one. I want to let my hair down and be wild. And sometimes I actually do – I give myself permission to have fun and let my children see that side of me. But more on that later.

First of all, here are 5 dilemmas I see as a “bad cop” parent, being the one who sees themselves as the voice of reason, who wants to teach responsibility, who knows kids need boundaries and that discipline is a form of caring:

  1. It’s tiring. Always being the one who has to settle the arguments, squash the complaining, get everyone to clean up and do their part, get the homework done, guide better choices, encourage better eating habits – while you know it’s the right thing, man are you exhausted.
  2. You’re the bearer of bad news. A big part of the “bad cop” parent’s role is to say NO. The good cop parent typically gets to be the good guy and almost always says YES. But children can’t be allowed to do as they please 24/7. That would result in an entitled brat of a child. (Veruca Salt from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory comes to mind.) So you enter the room and set the record straight that “no, you can’t have some more junk food or you won’t be able to sleep tonight,” and “no you can’t binge watch YouTube videos for hours on end.”
  3. Parenting is so much harder when a good cop is in the room. I can take my girls somewhere or be at home with them alone, and have NO issues. They know where I stand on just about everything and know not to test. But if we are in a situation where a good cop is in proximity – sometimes it can be their dad but it’s often another family member – they will test! My youngest especially. She will do things that she would NEVER EVER do if it were just she and I. She becomes bold and spunky and defiant and sometimes it breaks my heart. We can be in public and I will ask her to leave something alone that belongs something else and she will keep messing with it and just look at me. The other family member will say it’s ok, that she is fine, she is “not hurting anything.” One night this week she was lying on our set of bleachers and kicking the bleachers, shaking everyone in our section. I asked her to stop and the other family member said it was ok. At that point I just need to leave the room! It leaves me feeling disrespected by my child and the family member.
  4. The right thing and the easy thing are rarely the same. It’s easier to let kids play on their tablet for two hours straight, and easier to let them eat whatever they want. Currently I’m exercising bad cop mode on both of these issues. As I type this, my girls are not allowed to have any screen time for the next two hours, AND I’ve turned down their request for cookies and chips. I told them they could grab some cut fruit from the fridge if they’re really hungry, and they are working on rainbow loom bracelets at the moment. What’s nice though, is despite the moaning and complaining that may ensued at first, they are enjoying making their bracelets and love apple slices. It’s that initial moving past not getting their way in the moment where the tension strikes, the protesting happens, and where I could see the good cop caving in. 
  5. We do it to ourselves. I really think so. My husband and I are so like-minded on how children should be raised, I often wonder if I would just keep my mouth closed, if he would chime in, say NO, and take care of the issue. Bad cop parents (or at least it is true for me) are quick to squash the dilemma that it could be the other parent doesn’t have an opportunity to address it. I am a quick reactor and decision maker, and have a lower tolerance for discord and misbehavior than he does. So I naturally nip it in the bud so we can get on with things and the issue doesn’t gain momentum. For this reason, things won’t likely change, and if my control freak tendencies get the better of me, like they have I the past, I suspect “bad cop” will continue to be the dominant role I play in our family.

The good news is, I think our children are going to turn out great. They have my husband’s calm and laid back demeanor modeled for them on a daily basis. They see the ease at which he goes about everything. They also will for sure know the difference between right and wrong, They will who know how to behave in public, eat healthy, resolve conflicts and grow up to be responsible, well-mannered, resilient adults.

Our girls will hopefully look back and see that there were times when their mom and their dad played each of these roles: bad cop and good cop. Playing the bad cop isn’t easy, and somebody has to do it, but it doesn’t always have to be one person.