This is a new concept to me, and I discovered it listening to this episode of the Ten Percent Happier podcast. What made it compelling to me, was when the guest Devin Berry shared that he felt difficult to be around, angry, and easily offended. He also describes himself as sarcastic and skeptical, and that fact that all of those descriptors sadly resonated with me and how badly I didn’t want them to.
As I listened to him talk through a Metta Practice, I tried it for myself. I did not expect the tears to flow! I released so much emotion as I wished love and kindness to others, but especially as I wished it for myself and also forgave myself. I didn’t know that I needed this. Thank you Devin so much for being vulnerable and sharing your experience with Metta.
It has been a long time since I have felt this big of a shift in energy in such a positive way, and I wanted to share it here for a couple of reasons: 1) to selfishly help me process it, and 2) in case others want to find all of the high points shared in the podcast and this short and condensed form.
Initially I thought I would just listen to the podcast once a week, but I don’t trust myself to dedicate an hour to listen through all that is presented there.
Metta is a Buddhist practice that essentially is a practice of wishing others good will, including yourself. It’s the practice of becoming kind and benevolent. There are many mantras involved which I already believe in and practice. I have been a long time believer in the concept of repeating a positive saying or intention throughout my day. I have a yoga practice, and deep breathing and quieting the mind is a part of that.
I also want to go on the record as saying that you do not have to be Buddhist to practice Metta and wish goodwill toward others. I identify as a Christian, believe and God and Jesus, 100 percent. I strongly believe that you can adopt pieces of other religious practices as your own and that all religions have practices we can use to better ourselves.
This practice of Metta takes meditation a step further with a very specific series of mantras, to open your mind and heart.
Choose some meaningful phrases of what you want to bring into your life. These were suggested:
May I be happy and peaceful (may I have joy and contentment).
May I be safe.
May I be protected.
May I have well-being.
This can be hard to wish for yourself. Dan Harris, the host of the podcast, suggests that you begin with “easy people” – someone you love, and if people are hard choose a pet. This made me laugh, but I also found it relatable. Dan suggests also starting your children or spouse. He really likes to front load with two easy people. “May they be happy and peaceful, may they be safe, may they be protected, may they have well-being.”
Eastern practice starts with yourself, but that is hard for most of us so they are inverting this. Once you’ve done your two easy people, you can move to a mentor. “May they be happy and peaceful, may they be safe, may they be protected, may they have well-being.”
Then someone you see on a regular basis, and neutral person. I am sitting at a coffee shop right now, and I chose the barista that I literally have seen every day this summer. I’m not even sure of her name, but “May they be happy and peaceful, may they be safe, may they be protected, may they have well-being.” This one got to me today, because it opened my eyes to how I neglect to think of people in service as being just like me, having real feelings and hopes and dreams. Teary-eyed as a type this.
From the neutral person you shift to a difficult person. “May they be happy and peaceful, may they be safe, may they be protected, may they have well-being.” Each time a think of a “difficult” person, what I find is that I really care for them and have no issue really wanting these things for them, but what makes it hard is that I don’t feel like they want it in return for me. I feel that they either don’t like me or that I annoy them. It points me back to my own lack of self-worth.
From the difficult person you shift to yourself. The idea being that you are better able to want these things for yourself if you are able to wish them for others, even those who are difficult. “May I be happy and peaceful, may I be safe, may I be protected, may I have well-being.”
I will add that as Dan talks through this part of the podcast which I found so very valuable, but he talked through it so fast that I had to re-listen to this part over and over to get it all in my mind. Roughly around 17 minutes into the podcast.
The sense of seeing yourself as a part of an interconnected web, helps you to be kind and step outside yourself. It helps you stop feeling you need more and more, that you need to collect things.
Think of people in your life who have been generous to you. How can you replicate that? How can you serve and volunteer and contribute to the greater good? Each time you practice this, it will help you let go of your since of self and selfishness.
Again, here is the link to the episode of Ten Percent Happier that I refer to in the blog post, but I also recommend that you subscribe to Dan Harris’s Podcast. They are all so good.
If you have been thinking of taking a girls’ trip to Boston, I have so many ideas to share. We had the best time! You can cover so much in just one day, and a day is what we had. The first morning we explored the Mission Hill area which is delightfully walkable!
One of the many charming homes in the Mission Hill neighborhood. We loved seeing all of the beautiful wildflowers. They were literally everywhere.
Before I go on about the Mission Hill area and how much we loved it, I can’t encourage you enough to stay in a VRBO or AirBNB in one of the many charming neighborhoods and literally embed yourself in the culture. Staying in a hotel is more about living that tourist life, and we were so much happier choosing to be a traveller instead. This allows you to avoid crowds and really experience the city more like someone who actually lives there.
We found the BEST coffee shop called Green Haus Coffee, and they also sold the healthiest looking green houseplants and succulents. It was incredibly charming. My friend and traveling companion would argue that Solid Ground Cafe made a better latte, and was just a few blocks away. On the same block as Green Haus, we discovered Milkweed, a breakfast cafe with a menu so captivating, it was as if someone took all of my breakfast favorites and compiled them all together. I ended up getting a bacon, egg, and cheese croissant which I devoured. All of these were just blocks away from our AirBNB. Also notable was Il Mondo Pizza, but we did not get to try them.
Green Haus Coffee. This was such a cozy and charming place. If I lived here, this would be my daily coffee stop. The BEST latte, and so many healthy green plants and succulents for sale. I contemplated how to get some back to Tennessee.
Mission Hill was an area lush with trees and beautiful wildflowers everywhere you looked. The brownstones gave you a vibe that you were on the set of any TV show or movie that might take place in a big city on the East coast. There were gorgeous views of the city as you trekked up and down the hilly streets. I lived in San Francisco for several years and this satisfied my craving for the feeling of living in a big city while also having a cozy neighborhood vibe. I’ve missed that so much.
Milkweed, where we had breakfast. This is one of the few pictures I took that gets across the look/feel/vibe of the Mission Hill neighborhood.
While we were in the Mission Hill neighborhood, we strolled through a little park, and found a beautiful Catholic church called The Basilica and Shrine of Our Lady of Perpetual Help. Do yourself a favor and go inside that Catholic Church. It has had so many confessionals which fascinated me, and a shrine where you could light a votive candle to pray for someone. We also found a Walgreens that had an escalator. Our Walgreens doesn’t have an escalator! It’s the small, unexpected things I find that are the most memorable when I travel.
Inside The Basilica and Shrine of Our Lady of Perpetual Help Church in Mission Hill.
The escalator to Walgreens. 🙂
We waited for one of our friends to join us, and made our way to the Isabella Gardner Museum. On our way there, our GPS took us through the Wentworth Institute of Technology campus which was beautiful and so charming. There were fun chairs and hammocks strewn throughout the courtyard and we just enjoyed 15-20 minutes in the hammocks! It was so delightful!
Enjoying one of the hammocks on Wentworth Institute of Technology campus.
Our friend Caryn, who we came to the Northeast area to visit, joined us at this point. I hope my girls enjoyed their day, because they entrusted me to navigate us and suggest things for us to do the rest of the time in Boston. I will say we walked SO, SO much we were all fatigued. We Uber’ed to our first destination, but then after that we walked everywhere and probably too much. I feel like if I had planned a little more thoughtfully we could have maximized our time better. There are hop on/hop off bus tours and other buses but these were all very pricey, so we opted to walk. In retrospect, I now realize that Boston is HUGE, and the places you want to go appear really close together on your map. In real life, they are pretty far apart. I am thankful I brought good walking shoes (I LOVE these), and that we checked the weather before packing. For that reason we packed lots of shorts, and sleeveless tops, and THANKFULLY we had lots of shade and cloud coverage and a nice breeze because we visited Boston during July when they were hitting record highs.
All of that said, we started off as a trio by visiting the Boston Public Library. Now that may sound like a strange place to have on your Boston itinerary, but it is extraordinary. This is a massive library, but what attracted me to it was seeing pictures of their gorgeous courtyard on several blog posts I read prior to the trip, AND there is a bar adjacent to the courtyard and a little restaurant/cafe. You can sit in at the bar, and enjoy some of the best tasting and beautifully crafted mixed drinks that I have ever tasted or seen, or enjoy in the beautiful courtyard at the tables they have around the perimeter. We only opted indoors because of the heat – it was just a little too warm for us.
The courtyard at Boston Public Library
The bar/tearoom inside the Boston Public Library.
My pretty drink, a whiskey sour, at the Boston Public Library.
What a unique experience! I have never been to any other library like this one, or this big.
After the library we strolled along Boylston Street which gives you those big city vibes and is rich with shopping and dining options. We walked about three minutes before arriving at Saltie Girl. Can I recommend Saltie Girl? I will say they were some of the most delicious bites I had while I was in Boston but also the smallest and most expensive. It is very posh! The three of us shared what we ordered so we found it to be enough food, but only because Caryn got the fish and chips which was more of a generous portion, as opposed to our salmon and yellowtail.
Our salmon and yellowtail at Saltie Girl. Beautiful, delicious bites, but small.
After leaving Saltie Girl, we found ourselves in a very bougie area of the city, on Newbury Street. We strolled past, Cartier, Armani, Rolex, and Tiffany and Co. At the end of Newbury, we discovered the park that was way high on my Boston bucket list – Boston Public Gardens. If I lived in Boston, I would walk and run here on the regular. The grounds are lovely. We stopped and enjoyed the shade of the trees and just being present and watching baby ducks swim in the pond. We crossed the little pedestrian bridge and debated taking a ride on the swan boats. The pond area was not shaded, and we were getting into the warmer part of the day, so we opted out of the boat ride and continued on to find the bar where everybody knows your name…Cheers.
Pedestrian bridge at Boston Public Garden. Thankful for the passersby who took our picture.
The Cheers bar is RIGHT across the street from the Boston Public Garden which I wish I would have realized in hindsight. You could walk all the way through the Garden under tree cover in the shade and end up at Cheers. Instead, we walked to Boston Common and then down Beacon Street to get there which took a little longer, and was for sure hotter.
Where everybody knows your name…
I had read before coming to Boston that the Cheers Bar is the exact same on the outside as it was during the show filming, but the inside is completely different. I expected to be disappointed for this reason, but once you’re inside, you’re relieved that they’ve added so much more seating and a Gift shop. This allowed us to be seated and get waited on faster. We found our seats upstairs where they had recreated the bar as it was on the set. I sat in “Frasier’s seat,” and had the possibly the BEST IPA I’ve ever had, Norm’s IPA. It was so, so good. We met a couple that sat beside us and were probably twenty years old than us. When we told him we were all 50 or about to be 50, the husband said, “no f’ing way!” very loudly! Ha!
After we left the Cheers bar, I realized we were very close to Acorn Street which is the most photographed street, and one of the most beautiful. It made Architectural Digest’s list of the most beautiful streets in America. It’s in the prestigious Beacon Hill neighborhood. The cobblestone street, window boxes and red brick homes are some of the most notable characteristics. We stumbled off and back on the Freedom Trail during this time.
Acorn Street, the most photographed street in America.
If you are wondering why we didn’t opt to do more typical touristy/historical options, it is for a couple of reasons. One, my friend Caryn lives near the area and I figured she had done those things. I wanted us to all have a chance to do things we hadn’t done before. And two, I felt like I will come back here with my husband and girls and have a chance to do all of those things together it it would be new to us together. Three, I wanted to choose things that I would love to do in Boston that were adult friendly, because I never get to go to any bars or higher-end restaurants when we travel as a family. It’s expensive for a family of four to eat at a the fanciest Italian restaurant. But if it’s just me, it feels attainable and special.
That leads me to our pilgrimmage to Little Italy. We wanted to eat at a nice Italian restaurant for dinner, and also wanted a cannoli from Mike’s Cannoli. They ended up being on the same block! But we had lots of steps to get in before making it there.
We walked through some really cool areas and I wish I had taken more pictures of this part of our trip! I think I was feeling a bit haggard, hot and hungry at this point so taking photos just was not what I had on my mind.
We did stop off at North End Park which was the absolute coolest concept for a park, and much needed for our tired and weary legs! It has a long row of swings for you to swing on, and then sprinklers (think splash pad). I actually took off my shoes and walked through the sprinklers with the little toddlers. I have no shame and it felt so good!
Taking a much needed rest on one of the swings at North End Park.
We were very close to Little Italy at this point, but also Union Oyster House which was on my bucket list. I was very determined during our entire trip to locate raw oysters that cost less than $4 a dozen. Sadly I would be disappointed yet again when we arrived and I looked at their menu. If you are able to shell out the dough, I did read that they have the best raw oysters in Boston supposedly.
Once we arrived in Little Italy we actually went to Mike’s Pastry first. Our logic was that if we ate a big plate of pasta, we would be totally stuffed and talk ourselves out of even getting our cannoli. So we got the cannolis from Mike’s first, then made our way to what I researched and found to be the best Italian restaurant in Little Italy and that was Trattoria Il Panino.
Mike’s Pastry. The BEST Cannoli. This one has to be on your Boston bucket list.
So many things stand out to me now about this little restaurant looking back. The one you will notice almost right away is how it is packed full of tables. You are very (almost uncomforably) close to the tables next to you. It is therefore very loud in the restaurant. It is a lively environment which I appreciated. A lot of times Italian restaurants are so formal and quiet that you feel like the tables around you can hear your every word. So it is unique in that it is packed but also you are free to speak as you wish.
The second thing you will notice is that your meal is brought out in the skillet it was cooked in! Made to order, then not plated, but brought to you nice and hot in the pan. I have never experienced this! Let’s talk about our food. I had a gluten-free friend, and she loved her pasta! So often, gluten-free pasta dishes are tasteless or have an unpleasant texture. This was not the case! I also had a friend who got linguini with shrimp which looked amazing, and I had basically a fettucini that was to die for. We all could tell that the pasta was made in-house and everything was made from scratch. I am very particular about fettucini alfredo and only really like my husband’s (he is a classically trained chef). When I order it at a restaurant I’m always disappointed as it tastes like it was made from frozen. This is real deal! You will not find “fettucini alfredo” on the menu! What I ordered is called Cacio de Pepe on their menu – that is the closest thing I found to fettucini alfredo and it comes across as such, though not exactly.
My Cacio de Pepe. If you are a fettucini alfredo or “white sauce” person, this is what to order!
That was our day and time spent in Boston! If you are planning a trip to Boston, and particularly a trip with girlfriends, I hope this has inspired you and given you some ideas of what you can do and how you can maximize your time there.
Essentially Better Living 